A Little Recap

I've been sharing for the past couple months what has been working through my life in the last few years. An aquaintence described the distance between learning something in our heads and having it work into our daily living as a "conduct time-lag." An apt description, for me at least. It takes a long time for me to "get" things. It takes a long time to live what I learn, to let it seep into the pores of my life. It's discouraging sometimes. As time passes though, I happen to look over my shoulder and see a difference. Hey! I've grown! Not by leaps and bounds maybe, but by pieces and baby steps. 


What I have been learning is how to live in our Father's affection. Living loved. This doesn't come naturally for me. I know in my head that God loves me, just like he loves all humankind. Like a class-action lawsuit. Everybody who is involved gets to sue. I've seen God's love similarly. Sort of a class-action love. Of course he loves me! "God so loved the world..."! I was privileged to spend about 40 hours alone with my brother, Steve, this past week and a half as we traveled to and from Florida and Ohio. He has recently come to the realization that God delights in him. It has been revolutionary for him. Feeling somewhat a rebel in his current church situation, one who won't "drink the Koolaid" as he labels it, he struggled wondering what was wrong with him.  Long story, but the upshot is that the revelation that Father delights in him has been very freeing. He knows now that God accepts him and is saving him regardless of his failures and struggles. It was so good to share like understandings of our walk with God. Even though the miles of separation between us has been painful, we are growing together in this God journey.

I've stepped beyond the mistaken notion that God loves me like disgusted parents love a rebellious teenager who is being ugly. My Father actually loves me enough to like me! He delights in me. Man, Steve is right! This is so freeing! And so, what I have been blogging about over the last couple months -- with a few interruptions -- is this learning to live in the Father's affection. I spent the first blog expressing what it means to live loved. These are not all my original thoughts (is anything really original?), but I have truly been learning to internalize what has been seeping into my head. I have a Father who loves more than anyone on the planet! I can't shake that love even if I tried. I can't sin my way out of it or perform my way into it, or get him to love me any more or any less.

I used to think he would become disillusioned with me.  NOT! Think about that for a second. This God who knows the end from the beginning, including me, doesn't start with any illusions about me in the first place. How could he become DISillusioned? Aint gonna happen. I used to think that God was hanging a big stick over my head ready to pounce everytime I screwed up. No wonder I tried to hide from him! The guilt, the shame, the condemnation I suffered! The discovery has been out of the scriptures written to a group of Romans in the first century. A guy named Paul said, "There is ... no condemnation for those who are in Christ." None. Zip. Nada. The realization to grab ahold of is that shame, guilt and condemnation do NOT help me live in God's life. He has removed those buggers in Christ, in Jesus death on the cross and resurrection.

That's what I mean by learning to "get it." As I have let this reality, his love, sink in deeper. I realize I am trusting him. Why would anyone not trust a God like this? So very trustWORTHY! I am coming to realize that everything about my life is in Father's hands. Nothing escapes his notice or grasp. I can rest! Trust has turned from a religious obligation to a reality. It is an outcome of my ever-growing confidence in Father's love for me. You can get the whole scoop in my last blog on "Growing in Trust."

In my next blog entry, I'm going to take a look at what this freedom is looking like. Can't wait!

~ Skip